Stop Burning Out: The Spoonie’s Guide to Pacing With Chronic Illness That Actually Works

If you’ve ever told yourself, “Next time, I’ll slow down before I crash,” only to find yourself curled up in bed days later with nothing left to give — you already know the cruel cycle of pacing with chronic illness.

I’ve been there more times than I can count.

I’d wake up with a little more energy than usual, immediately push myself to catch up on laundry, errands, and work, and then crash so hard I’d lose an entire week. It felt like no matter how many times I promised myself I’d “do better next time,” I ended up stuck in the same burnout loop.

That’s because pacing with chronic illness isn’t as simple as “rest more.” It’s a skill. A practice. And if you’re anything like me, it takes time, trial, and a lot of frustrating mistakes to get right.

There’s a TL;DR section near the end if you want to skip ahead, but I encourage you to stay with me—because this is one of the most game-changing shifts I ever made for managing my chronic illness.

Why Pacing With Chronic Illness Feels Like Punishment

Let’s be honest: pacing doesn’t sound like freedom.

It sounds like giving up. Like living half a life. Like saying no when everyone else gets to say yes.

When I was first diagnosed with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH) back in 2018, I went from full-time work and an active social life to part-time work from home and evenings in bed. I hated the idea of pacing. I wanted to push through, to prove that I was still capable.

But the reality was brutal:

• Every time I ignored warning signs of a flare, I paid for it with days in bed.

• Every time I said yes to too many commitments, I ended up canceling everything.

• Every time I compared myself to healthy friends, I felt like I was failing at life.

Instead of helping, my stubbornness made my world smaller.

The truth is, pacing feels like punishment at first because society tells us our worth is measured by productivity. When you’re forced to slow down, it feels like losing the very thing that makes you valuable.

The Burnout Cycle We Can’t Seem to Break

Here’s the catch: most spoonies don’t struggle because they don’t know they should pace. We struggle because:

• Our energy is unpredictable. How do you pace when you never know how much energy you’ll have tomorrow?

• We get caught up in “good days.” When symptoms lift, it’s tempting to do everything at once before the energy disappears.

• We fear missing out. Saying no feels like giving up on friendships, passions, or goals.

• We guilt ourselves. Rest feels lazy. Saying no feels selfish.

And so the cycle repeats:

1. Energy spike → overexertion.

2. Flare or crash → forced rest.

3. Guilt → pushing too soon.

4. Another crash.

Sound familiar?

This cycle isn’t just frustrating — it’s unsustainable. It chips away at your mental health, relationships, and sense of self. And unless you interrupt it with intentional pacing, it doesn’t stop.

A Practical Guide to Pacing With Chronic Illness

Here’s where everything changed for me: realizing pacing wasn’t about doing less.

It was about doing things differently.

Pacing is how I learned to stop burning out, start trusting my body again, and actually create space for the things I love — without ending up flat on my back for days.

That’s why I created and now share my Energy Management Toolkit — because pacing isn’t a one-time fix, it’s an ongoing practice of noticing, adjusting, and protecting your energy.

Here’s what finally worked for me (and what you can start practicing right now):

1. Listen Before It’s Too Late

For years, I ignored my body until it screamed at me. Now, I’ve learned to notice the whispers:

• The faint headache that signals my IIH symptoms are about to flare.

   

• The creeping fatigue that tells me a crash is coming if I don’t slow down.

   

• The mental fog that means I need to pause, hydrate, and rest.

   

It takes practice, but tracking these patterns — like in the daily logs from my Energy Management Toolkit — can help you spot early warning signs before they snowball.

Think of it like budgeting: if you notice you’re spending too much in one category, you shift things before the account hits zero.

2. Plan in Energy, Not Hours

Healthy people plan their lives by the clock. Spoonies have to plan by energy.

For me, that means asking questions like:

• Which tasks matter most today?

   

• Which ones drain me fastest?

   

• What can I batch or simplify?

   

That’s why my “big three” priorities are always laundry, dishes, and easy meals. They keep our home running, even on low-energy days.

I also cook larger batches so future me (or my husband) has leftovers ready. It’s a simple pacing trick that saves spoons on flare days.

3. Always Have a Plan B

The truth? Even the best pacing plans fall apart when symptoms flare unexpectedly.

That’s why I keep “Plan B” options ready:

• Quick meals or frozen leftovers.

   

• Easy cleaning wipes instead of deep scrubbing.

   

• A backup work list of low-energy tasks for foggy days.

   

Plan B doesn’t mean failure. It means you’re prepared.

4. Build Support Into Your Life

Pacing isn’t meant to be done in isolation.

I’ve learned to lean on support systems: my husband for folding laundry, online chronic illness communities for encouragement, and even virtual therapy when I need emotional backup.

Asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. It keeps you from burning out alone.

5. Drop the Comparison Game

One of the biggest don’ts of pacing with chronic illness? Comparing your pace to anyone else’s.

You’re not lazy. You’re managing a body with very real limits. And your worth isn’t measured by how much you get done.

Some days, just taking a shower is a win. Other days, you might surprise yourself with what you can do. Both matter. Both deserve to be celebrated.

Staying the Course: How to Make Pacing Stick

Here’s the hardest part: pacing only works if you keep at it.

That doesn’t mean perfection. It means recommitting every day, even when you mess up.

A few things that help me stay consistent:

• Technology: timers and reminders to take breaks.

• Creative outlets: writing, music, or art that let me “do” without draining me.

• Reflection: noticing when I overdid it so I can adjust next time.

• Energy tools: like the trackers and exercises in the Energy Management Toolkit that keep me honest about what’s working and what isn’t.

Pacing isn’t about restriction. It’s about freedom — the freedom to stop burning out and start living within your limits instead of against them.

TL;DR: Pacing With Chronic Illness Isn’t About Doing Less

Pacing isn’t punishment. It’s protection.

It’s how you stop burning out, stop chasing productivity at all costs, and finally start working with your body instead of against it.

• Listen to your body’s early cues.
• Plan by energy, not hours.
• Always have a Plan B.
• Build support systems.
• Stop comparing your pace to anyone else’s.

And when you start practicing these strategies, pacing stops being a frustrating chore — and starts becoming the tool that helps you build a life you can actually sustain.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re tired of the burnout cycle and want practical, realistic strategies for pacing, grab my free resource: The Energy Management Toolkit.

Inside, you’ll find simple tools to help you:

• Identify your biggest energy drains
• Track patterns in your energy levels
• Spot early signs of burnout before they take over
• Create a daily rhythm that works with your chronic illness, not against it

Download your free copy by filling out the form below — and start making pacing with chronic illness less overwhelming and more sustainable.