Self-Care for Chronic Illness: What Actually Helps When You’re Struggling

We hear a lot about “self-care” these days.

But if you’re living with chronic illness, you’ve probably noticed something: most of the popular advice isn’t made for us.

You don’t need another list that tells you to go for a run, take a hot bath, or “just think positive.” You need real strategies that honor your limitations, work with your energy levels, and help you feel more stable on your hardest days.

This isn’t self-care as a luxury. This is self-care as survival.

There’s a TL;DR section near the bottom of this post if you want a quick recap and a link to the free Beginner’s Guide to EFT Tapping.

Why Typical Self-Care Advice

Doesn’t Work for Spoonies

There’s a reason that scrolling self-care content on Instagram or Pinterest can feel alienating. The imagery is curated for maximum aesthetic: spa days, lavender lattes, and fresh white linens. But that version of self-care doesn’t reflect the real lives of those of us dealing with daily pain, fatigue, brain fog, or unpredictable flare-ups.

It definitely didn’t reflect mine.

When I first got sick, I kept trying to force myself into those same routines I saw on social media. Journaling for 30 minutes. Stretching every morning. Drinking a green smoothie every day like it would cure me. And every time I “failed” to keep up, I thought I was just being lazy.

The truth? I was burning spoons on routines that didn’t meet me where I was.

It took me years to learn this:
The most effective self-care is the kind that adapts to your body.

Self-care for chronic illness means releasing the idea that it has to be pretty, impressive, or even consistent. Sometimes, self-care is brushing your teeth from bed. Sometimes, it’s turning your phone on silent and watching reruns of a comfort show without guilt.

And that doesn’t make it any less valid.

The Real Definition of Self-Care for Spoonies

Self-care, at its core, is about meeting your needs.

When you live with chronic illness, those needs are often different from the norm—and they shift constantly. You might wake up one day with enough energy to meal prep, and the next, you’re struggling to sit upright without getting dizzy.

That’s why spoonie self-care has to be:

• Flexible – it changes with your symptoms

• Accessible – it works even when you can’t get out of bed

• Supportive – it’s rooted in compassion, not shame

• Holistic – it addresses physical and emotional well-being

It’s not about “doing more.” It’s about creating space to rest, regulate, and recover—however that looks for you.

My Turning Point With Self-Care

There was a season where I kept thinking, “I just need to try harder.”

Every day I’d set goals like “journal for 15 minutes,” “walk for 10 minutes,” “shower and get dressed.” Normal things, right? But they weren’t normal for me—not with post-COVID crashes and IIH flares that left me unable to function most mornings.

One afternoon, after canceling plans for the third time that week, I broke down. The guilt was crushing. I thought, Why can’t I just push through like everyone else?

And then something shifted.

I realized I wasn’t failing at self-care.

I was trying to force my body into someone else’s version of it.

That was the moment I decided to rebuild my routines from scratch—not based on what I thought I should be doing, but based on what actually helped me feel more supported, calm, and regulated.

And spoiler: none of it looked like what wellness culture told me it should.

8 Realistic Self-Care Ideas

That Actually Work With Chronic Illness

1. Nervous System Regulation First

Before you do anything else—pause and check in with your nervous system.

Start with deep belly breaths, a short body scan, or five minutes of stillness with your hand over your heart. You can even lie down and put your legs up the wall. These gentle resets help shift you out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-repair mode.

This is especially helpful on flare days, when everything feels overstimulating or overwhelming.

Try This:

• Box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4)
• Guided meditation apps like Insight Timer
• EFT Tapping (more on that below)

2. Create a Cozy Resting Space

Make one small part of your home feel like a soft landing place.

For me, it’s a corner of the couch with my weighted blanket, essential oil diffuser, and a designated “flare basket” stocked with lip balm, tissues, eye drops, meds, and snacks.

Having that spot ready makes it easier to lean into rest without feeling like I’m giving up on the day.

Bonus Tip: Use a lamp instead of overhead lights—less sensory input can ease fatigue.

3. Gentle Creative Play

You don’t need to be “good” at art for it to be healing.

Coloring, doodling, collaging, or playing with clay can all be forms of mindfulness. They help you connect with your senses and slow your thoughts without needing to physically exert yourself.

This has saved me on days when I’m too tired to read but too wired to rest.

Try This:

• Grab an adult coloring book
• Keep a sketchpad by your bed
• Try digital art on a tablet or phone

4. Low-Energy Mental Stimulation

Sometimes self-care looks like mental enrichment.

Listening to podcasts, gentle audiobooks, or ASMR videos can help you feel connected to the outside world—even when you’re stuck in bed.

It’s not passive rest, but it’s also not draining. It’s that sweet middle ground.

5. Self-Care Through Hydration & Easy Nutrition

Forget complicated meal prep.

Self-care might mean keeping hydrating drinks within reach, stocking easy-to-grab snacks, or prepping one high-protein meal that’ll last you a few days.

Low-Energy Food Wins:

• Pre-cut fruit

• Cheese cubes & crackers

• Microwavable grain bowls

• Hydration tablets or electrolyte mixes

6. Virtual Community Support

You don’t need to leave the house to feel less alone.

Joining an online support group, scheduling regular video calls with a friend, or even just sending voice memos back and forth can offer genuine connection when isolation creeps in.

Sometimes self-care is simply saying, “Hey, I’m struggling,” and letting someone witness you.

7. Try EFT Tapping

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a form of gentle, body-based stress relief that involves tapping on meridian points while focusing on emotions or affirmations.

It helped me release guilt, calm anxiety, and feel more connected to my body—all without needing to talk it out or physically move.

That’s why I created a free guide to help you try it, too.
You can scroll to the bottom to grab it if you’re curious.

8. Redefine What Self-Care Isn’t

This might be the most important one.

Self-care is not:

• A checklist you need to complete

• Something that has to be earned

• A performance for other people

• Another way to measure “success”

It’s your anchor—not your obligation.

Balancing Real Life With Chronic Illness Self-Care

We all have responsibilities: work, family, appointments, bills. And when energy is limited, it’s tempting to put everything else first and tell ourselves we’ll “rest later.”

But that “later” rarely comes.

Chronic illness self-care only works when we stop treating it like something extra and start building it into our actual life.

Here’s how that’s looked for me:

• I batch household tasks on my highest-energy mornings

• I schedule nothing on Thursdays—built-in buffer time

• I plan meals around what I can do, not what I wish I could

• I set alarms to remind myself to eat, drink, and rest

It’s not glamorous. But it works.

TL;DR: Self-Care Isn’t Optional—It’s Essential

You don’t need to “deserve” rest.
You don’t need to perform it.
And you definitely don’t need to follow anyone else’s version of it.

Self-care for chronic illness is about tuning into what you need today—and trusting that honoring your needs is what makes everything else possible.

Whether you’re coloring in bed, sipping an electrolyte drink, or tapping through some big feelings, you are doing enough.

And if you’re looking for an accessible way to regulate your nervous system and support your emotional health, I’ve got something to help with that.

Free Resource: Beginner’s Guide to EFT Tapping for Chronic Illness Relief

Want to try EFT but don’t know where to start?

I created a free guide just for spoonies that walks you through:

• What EFT Tapping is and how it works
• The tapping points and how to use them
• Example scripts for chronic illness stress and guilt
• Tips for customizing tapping to your needs

You don’t need any special tools. You don’t need a lot of energy. Just a few minutes, a quiet space, and the willingness to give it a try.

Download your free Beginner’s Guide to EFT Tapping here.